if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
