If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
