just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
