I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
