And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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