If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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