Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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