Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
