there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
