he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
