Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
