SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
