This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
