don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
He kissed a someone with a penis
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
