Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
It's Friday. Sex?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
