Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
