All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I can't turn off my feet"
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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