These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
