I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize