I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
