I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
