Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
