You made me cry and you don't even care
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
