I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
