I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
