so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
