i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She's the barista slut.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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