found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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