Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize