i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize