She is in my trunk
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize