great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
My brain says no but my pants say off.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
