singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
im holly from the hills drunk
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
