Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
