I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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