My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
