am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
