i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
