And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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