Betty ford says i'm here all night
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
it glows. i had to have it.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize