he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
