He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
