I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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