Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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