Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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