I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
