I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
