I think I am morally bankrupt
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
