none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
