my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
