i would punch a child for taco bell
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
