Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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