I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Randomize
