Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
