yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
