I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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