ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
