try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
