Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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