dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
