I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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