My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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