No awkward lesbian experiences without me
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
well most of my day revolves around power hour
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
