so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
